Forgiveness is an act of releasing resentment and thought of revenge. It is our choice to learn to let go of a past wrong and it is our choice to no longer allow ourselves to be hurt by it.
Remove your ego from the equation. Now look at the situation. Does it appear differently? As it was so eloquently stated by Henry Ward Beecher, when someone says "I can forgive, but I cannot forget", it is only another way of saying, I will not forgive.
If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.
Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is always about us. It is about letting go of the feelings that have been holding us back, weighing us down, and keeping us stuck. It does not condone what the other person did. It does not mean that what happened was okay. It just means that we are choosing to let go of it so we can move on in our lives.
Think of someone who makes you very angry, a person who has caused you pain. The first thing you need to do is have the intent to forgive. Then, start letting yourself feel your feelings, whether they be anger, guilt or sorrow. Give yourself permission to go into the feelings. Realize the intensity. If tears come up, let yourself cry.
Then, when you are calmer, feel the positive aspects that have come out of the painful experience. How did this experience serve you? Are you stronger, more compassionate, more loving to yourself and others?
Every experience serves us in some way. It furthers our growth and expansion - that is why we created it. As you can realize the benefits that you derived out of the painful experience, you see its value and start letting go. You start the process of forgiveness.
It is important also to practice forgiveness toward yourself. As you forgive others, then it will open the way for self-forgiveness. We are each on our own path and we make our choices based on our knowledge at that time. We learn and grow from our vast array of experiences. As you forgive yourself, you make room for new opportunities to come to you. You feel lighter and more in touch with your own sense of peace, love and joy.
So, as you begin this process of forgiveness, be kind and patient with yourself. You know you have forgiven when you think about that same person and the anger is gone, the emotion is gone. You may still have the memories, but without the emotions.
Practice forgiveness in every area of your life. It is truly a blessing and the rewards are innumerable.
Let the energy of love and light be with you.
